36 Week update (a little late)

I meant to post this on Saturday, but Saturday turned into a DMV nightmare.  Since then, I haven’t been able to get to it.

 

So, the DMV.  I FINALLY went to get my California driver’s license.  (I know, I know…procrastination…I really just wasn’t willing to admit I didn’t live in Wyoming anymore.)  I should’ve known something was up when it was going too well.  I got to the intake person quickly.  I only stood in line to get my picture taken for two or three minutes.  I passed my test and only missed two questions.  I got into the front of the line for the final lady right away. 

And then she asked me to verify the information.  (The following is an approximation)

Me:  “This has my maiden name on it.”

She pulls it back and then checks her computer screen.  “Yes, you brought in your birth certificate.”

“Yes, the website says to bring that or your passport.  I don’t have one of those so naturally…”

“Yes, we took your name from the birth certificate.”

“But that’s not my legal name.”

“Do you have your marriage certificate?”

“No, I’ve already proven my married name in Wyoming, which is why that license says “Miller”.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am.  We don’t know the standards of other states.  We have our own standards so you will have to show your marriage license.”

“And how much does that cost to change my name?”

“Twenty-seven dollars.”

“So, I have to come back in, miss work because this is the last Saturday you’re open, and pay you another twenty-seven dollars just because you cannot accept the name on a driver’s license from another state.  I’ve proven it to them.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am.  I have to follow our standards.”

“What if I show you my Social Security card?”
        “No, ma’am.  I can only use your marriage license.”

“I’ve haven’t used that name for twenty-four years.”

“Let me do this for you, I’ll put it in pending and if you can get back before the end of the day with your marriage license, we’ll get it in there with the right name.”

So I run home and Tyson and I search the house for over four hours looking for our marriage license.  No luck.  We found our marriage certificate, but no license.  We did eliminate about 25 boxes that hadn’t been unpacked yet and threw some stuff away, so that was a plus.  I went back to the DMV at about 3 and got my driver’s license in my maiden name.  I left the DMV sobbing.  I haven’t been that girl in forever.  It’s not who I am.  I felt robbed for some reason.

Tyson did order a new marriage license for us but even if I get that in the mail this week, I still need to wait for my hard copy of my DL before I can change the name.  In the meantime, I’m rolling around town with an ID that has my maiden name on it even though EVERYTHING else is in my married name.  Tyson told me he’d marry me again…. J

 

So, because of the fiasco there, I wasn’t able to get to Curves to work out that Saturday.  I did manage to make it four times for the week, though.  This week, if I make it on Saturday, I can get in five workouts. 

I’ve been frustrated because I haven’t been losing weight.  I’ve been working out for almost three weeks.  However, I have noticed that my fluctuations are smaller.  In the past, I’ve fluctuated five to seven pounds over the course of a couple weeks.  Recently, that’s gone down to three or four.  I guess that progress.

Of course, I was curious if I was retaining water like crazy or if my body was just really freaking out because I’ve been sedentary for a couple decades or if I’m just weird.  I found this website that helped considerably.    I also found a second website which verified the other one.  I probably am retaining water and it could last anywhere from two to five weeks.  I’m going to add a 10% buffer in that and try not to freak out until it’s been more than five and half weeks.  And I realized that I’m just weird.

I will be doing another weigh-in/measure appointment with Curves a week from Saturday.  They like to do those once a month.  We’ll see what that says.  Here’s the numbers from the first appointment: 

    Arms 13.5"

    Bust 47.5"

    Waist 46"

    Abdomen 55"

    Hips 58"

    Thighs 30.5"

    Weight 297.5#  (Fully clothed, with shoes, at end of day)

    Height 5'10.5"

    BMI 47.1%

    Short term goal: loose 27.5# in three months (1/8/16)

    Long term goal:  175#  - I had to come up with something.  I suppose this would be most ideal but truly, I'd be happy with 225 and really happy with 200.

24 Week update, August 1, 2015

Okay, so it's not Aug. 1st.  But, I owe you updates, at least.  I prepared everything so I could do one, I just never did.  Let me remember what I can.

So, on August 1st, I weighed 295, down 1/2 pound.  I fluctuated between 295 and 300 the whole month.  I also struggled with drinking soda (pop, for you Wyomingites).  In addition, I had trouble staying on my plan to walk the dog.  Many factors played into that:
    1.  I like to stay up late at night, especially when the kids have gone to bed.  It's quiet. 
         That makes it difficult to get up in the morning.
    2.  It's....uh....really, really hot in Bakersfield.  And it doesn't cool off at night.  Even
         when I don't sleep in, it's still 85 at 7 a.m.  On days when I don't get up early, then
         it was much too hot to walk.
    3.  We had visitors and we went on a mini-vacay to Sea World.  I shot my
         calorie-watching in the foot and didn't pick it back up again.  That also allowed
         me an excuse not to walk.

By the time July was over, I was fed up with myself but willing to cut myself a break and lump the month up to experience.  I decided I would do better in August.

The pictures I did manage to take were done on August 4th.  The green pants died and received an emotionally stirring funeral in my trash can.  My misery didn't last too long, however, and I have moved on to the black ones.  :)

2/14/2015

8/4/2015

2/14/2015

8/4/2015

Today I Woke Up Pissed Off - A Sixteen Week Update

  Today I woke up pissed off.  I was mad at myself for having gained so much weight.  I was mad at myself for looking like a balloon.  I was mad at myself for having such a nonchalant attitude about my weight when I was younger.  I was mad at myself for dropping the ball two months ago and not picking it back up.  I was mad because I had to get up and do something about it.  I was mad that I couldn't keep doing what I've always done, be lazy and not care.
   But I got up anyway.  After I prayed and unloaded all of that to the Lord, I reaffirmed my determination and decided to pick the ball back up again.


   So here I am, back in your hair, to discuss the roller coaster of weight gain and loss; life, basically.


   So in April, after we had moved, I dropped this ball to focus on NaNoWriMo.  I managed to write a 60,000 word first draft within those thirty days.  I continued to work on it in May for a couple weeks and then I dropped that ball, preferring to play on the Sims and feel sorry for myself.  When I was writing in April, I decided it wasn't worth the bother of writing this blog and the draft at the same time.  I just didn't want to deal with it.  It was an excuse, really.  If I don't do this blog, then I don't have to hold the mirror in front of myself every day.
   But the mirror is always there, whether I want to acknowledge it or not.  And my feelings about being overweight haven't changed either, just my desire to deal with it.
   I joined a sexual assault survivor's group back when I was twenty-three (1995).  During the second meeting, we watched a video of another survivor who did inspirational speeches about overcoming adversity.  This was her advice:
   "Do your work everyday."
   No matter how hard or difficult it is or will be, and it will be, do it everyday, without fail.  She was referencing the work of healing.  I suppose losing weight is a form of adversity; something I need to heal inside myself.  And it is work.
   It must be done everyday.
   And there will be days in the future when I will forget or want to forget and yearn for something "easier".  I was a member of that survivor's group for nine months before my family and I moved to Texas.  We worked very hard on many issues of being a survivor.  I remember many days of wishing I didn't have to do the work, of wishing it was easier or would simply go away.
   Some days were difficult; some were more difficult; a lot were extremely difficult.  However, at some point, I'm not sure when, the difficult days became fewer and farther between.  Somewhere along the way, my adversity became part of me instead of controlling me.
   So I need to do the work.  In some ways, I see that this weight is part of that same work I began in '95.  It's not the whole cloth, but there are many common threads.


   May wasn't all about avoiding the work.  About six weeks ago, I decided (again) I needed to start walking the dog.  It was something I was dreading, probably simply because I didn't want to do it. I started small.  I realized that I was (am) really out of shape.  Add that to my propensity of giving something up if I take too big a bite and don't like it, it was necessary to do that.
   I started with one lap around the block, about .3 miles.  I would take the dog with me when I took the kids to school.  When we got home, I'd take her out of the car and immediately go around the block.  I knew if I walked into the house, I wouldn't take her back out.  I'd find some reason not to.
   We walked every day that week except one.  My joints burned every time.  With the blessings of ibuprofen and naps, I kept doing it.
   The next week, I went around my block and then I did another lap around the next block.  One day, I drove the laps to see how far I was going.  They totaled .7 miles.
   Two weeks later, I added a third lap around another block bringing my total to 1.2 miles.  We did that once.  The next day, I drove her over to a park along the bluffs.  There's a really nice, paved walking path there.  It's divided into three sections, each one divided by distance and marked.
   We are now up to 1.8 miles five days a week, flirting with 2.4 (once this week).
   Two weeks ago, when the pool temperature finally got to a good place, I started swimming.  It's not Olympic swimming by any means, it's more just gently going back and forth.  And it's not everyday, but it's activity.

Feb 14, 2015 309 lbs

June 6, 2015 300 lbs

   I'm not sure what my diet is doing, just that it's not what it was back in February and March.  I started drinking Diet Dr. Pepper in earnest in April.  I justified it because I was under "stress" from writing.  Blah, blah, blah.  I'll talk about that more in another post.

Notice the dog patiently waiting for her leash....

So, for the update, I'm at 300 pounds today.  That's nine pounds down from the beginning.






























I'll be checking back in tomorrow...if for anything to report my food....

  

Update April 1, 2015

Hello all.


I haven't written in a couple days.  Sorry about that.  My mother-in-law and two nieces were here.  We've been very busy.


Monday we finally signed the closing documents.  In California, however, you don't get your keys right away.  It can be up to 72 hours afterwards.  In our case, we got our keys at 5:15 last night.  We were working until midnight to get everything moved.  Fortunately, lots of people from our church showed up to help us. If they hadn't, we would have been still moving today.


My mother-in-law, nieces and my granddaughter, Ryleigh, all climbed in the van and left for Salt Lake today.  I'm not built for toddlers anymore.  I've been exhausted having her around.  However, I know I'll miss her.  I was bawling today as she left.  :'(


After they left, Stephi and I went over to the old house and started cleaning.  My mother-in-law and a friend from church had already done a lot of the kitchen work.  I am so thankful for their help.  However, we focused on the carpeted areas of the house so the carpet cleaners could get their work done tomorrow.  Tyson was in and out, taking a load over, running errands like going to the post office, etc.  He finally joined us all the time about 4:30.  We cleaned until 8:00.  We met the goal of getting all the bedrooms, bathrooms, laundry room and hallway completed.  We even did the windows.  Ack.


That leaves the refrigerator, oven, counters, dishwasher, mantle and hearth, three more windows and waxing the kitchen, dining room and living room.  I think we can get it done while the carpet cleaners are there.


Another NaNoWriMo started today.  There's a competition on the internet.  To join, you must be willing to write a 50,000 word novel in a month.  The main one is in November.  There are secondary ones in April and July.  I enjoyed this last one in November so much, I wanted to do another one.  These secondary ones allow you to set your own monthly word count.  I stepped mine up to 60,000.  I didn't get anything done today so I'm already behind!!  Tomorrow doesn't look good either.  I guess we'll see how the day shapes up.  It's better to stay on top of it instead of falling behind.


Well, my diet has gone back to old habits.  I've been drinking a lot of pop, eating more sugary things, and just eating more in general.  Eating is how I handle stress.  Now that the moving stress is almost over, perhaps I can get back on track.


Let's see what tomorrow brings.


Same Bat time (maybe), same Bat channel.

Comfort Foods

I was nosing around on the internet and came across this story.  I ate my third chocolate chip cookie while reading it.  Then, I decided I needed to share.  Here it is.


I did horrible on eating today.  I ate a lot.  I need to get it back under "control".  Tomorrow is a new day.  Have a good evening.  See you then.


Same Bat time, same Bat channel.

Update March 28, 2015

Good evening!

Today has been a wonderful day.  My headache went away after I rested last night.  I've been very tense about the house/loan situation.  After learning we could move forward, I relaxed quite a bit.  My head and neck ached last night so I took plenty of ibuprofen and laid on the hot pad for a while.  That seemed to help.  Sleep did too.


My mother-in-law came today with my two nieces.  It's been a nice visit.  She took us out to dinner tonight to Olive Garden for my birthday.


Therefore, I am not counting my calories tonight.  It would be outrageous.


See you tomorrow!

Same Bat time, same Bat channel

Update March 27, 2015

Today was a roller coaster.  But it wound up being a good day.  Lots of packing done and the LOAN WENT THROUGH.  We're done with "It has to go back through underwriting.  It will be at least another five days."  HOOOOOORAY!!  We will sign Monday or Tuesday and move probably later that day.


5:45 - two pieces of turkey and a string cheese stick - 180 cal
7:15 - two chocolate chip cookies a friend made me for my birthday - 312 cal
11:45 - two of my burritos - 726 cal
4:00 - a string cheese stick - 80 cal
7:00 - two pieces of stuffed chicken, bacon pizza (two pizzas one on top of the other) - 730 calories
1 20 oz diet Dr. Pepper and 1 12 oz diet Pepsi
48 ozs of water
total calories for the day - 2028 cal

Update March 26, 2015

Hello.  I trashed it today.


5:45 - two pieces of turkey, a stick of string cheese, and two small pancakes - 265 calories
9:30 - four ding-dongs and a 20 oz diet Dr. Pepper - 660 calories - I had been craving the chocolate and I had a sugar headache.  As I ate the chocolate, I could feel the endorphins washing through me.  It was quite a trip and I found it interesting.  Headache went away too.
1:30 - Medium double quarter pounder meal with a medium diet Dr. Pepper - 1129 calories - yeah.  The burger was super tasty.  The fries tasted like usual, but somehow they didn't taste as good as they used to.  Actually, I thought they tasted like crap but I ate them anyway.  I really only wanted the burger.
6:30 - two of my burritos - 726 calories
Total calories of the day - 2780 - yeah, buddy.
Total water for the day - 32 ozs. - because I drank a lot of pop.


Tomorrow will be better.  Especially if I don't kill the mortgage people.  You think it would mess up the loan?


Same Bat time, same Bat channel

Update March 25, 2015

I didn't update yesterday because I failed miserably.


Today I did well.  I'm still very frustrated with the loan situation.  Waiting is difficult.  Buying a house is emotional.


5:30 - two pieces of turkey and a cheese stick - 180 cal
1:30 - two of my burritos and a 12 oz diet Pepsi- 726 cal
7:30 - two burritos with chicken chili, cheese, sour cream and guacamole and a 12 oz diet Dr. Pepper - 522 cal
Total calories for the day - 1428!!  SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?
Total water for day - 48 ozs


I was busy today.  A friend from church came over and helped me pack up the kitchen.  I laid Ryleigh down for a nap late, at 1:45 and I slept until 3:00.  Then we went to Stephi's swim meet.  I guess I didn't give myself time to think about eating.


Interesting.


See you tomorrow.
Same Bat time, same Bat channel

Update March 20, 2015

6:00 - two pieces of turkey and a piece of cheese - 180
11:30 - two of my burritos and a 12 pz diet Pepsi - 726
6:30 - beef and bean nachos (940 cal), 1/3 cup of my fruit salad (47 cal) and a 12 oz diet Dr Pepper
44 ozs of water
Total calories today - 1893

Update March 18, 2015

    Today was better than yesterday.  A friend came a visited with me today.  That made my day bright.
    I think I totally trashed yesterday's success.  But, I haven't added it up yet.  Here it goes.


    5:45 - Three strips of bacon (46 cal each, 138 total) and two eggs (72 cal each, 144 total) with two teaspoons of 2% milk (5 cal) breakfast total = 287
  11:30 - two burritos (726 cal) and 12 oz diet Pepsi (0 cal) = 726 cal
    2:30 - I've been feeling sluggish all day.  I had gotten some things done, but it was with major effort.  I'm craving sugar (I think I know why and I don't like the idea).  I find an excuse, driving over to the new house to see if repairs are complete, and I stop at 7-11.  My intention was to buy a whole box of the strawberry cake rolls and save some...yeah, right.  By the time I had gotten there, my craving had slowed and I bought a 20 oz diet Dr. Pepper and a package of three chocolate zingers at 390 calories.  I gave one to Ryleigh and scarfed the other two, so 260 calories.
    4:00 - 1/2 cup strawberry yogurt with two tablespoons of blueberries and 1/4 cup of granola (200 cal)
    6:30 - late with supper so I fix nachos.  :/  I really don't want to total this.  Corn chips, about 15 (219 cal), 1/2 cup 90% lean hamburger (392 cal), 1/2 cup shredded Colby Jack cheese (217 cal), spinach/romaine (20 cal); tomato pieces (8 cal), sour cream and guac (49 cal) - total meal calories = 905
    8:15 - 10 chocolate eggs with candy shell because they were sitting on the table at church and were calling to me. 270 cal
   Total calories for day = 2388
   Total water for day = 64 ozs, even with two caffeine sources, which would normally replace, not add to.


    It's not my worst day, but not a spectacular one.  I'll share some thoughts tomorrow, hopefully.
    Same Bat time, same bat channel

Update March 17, 2015

   This is yesterday's journal.  I got myself caught up on Facebook last night and didn't get to it. :)


    I had a good day yesterday, but I didn't feel well.  I was extremely tired.  I think I have this figured out and I'll talk about it at a later date.


    5:15 - two pieces of ham and a piece of cheese 240 cal
  11:30 - two beef, bean and cheese burritos with spinach/lettuce, sour cream and guac, 12 oz diet Pepsi (0 cal) 800 cal
    4:00 - two string cheese sticks - 160 cal
    6:30 - 2/3 cup chicken chili (106 cal), two tortillas (188 cal), sour cream and guac (98 cal), lettuce (20 cal), 1/3 cup red, white and blueberry fruit salad (47 cal), and 1/3 cup last night's fruit salad (71 cal) total meal 530 cal
    64 ozs water total
    Total calories for day = 1730.  Wow.  I did pretty good.   


    No exercise, a moderate amount of little jobs around the house done.  That was Tuesday.

Recipe - Chicken Chili

This was our main course last night.  I love this recipe.  It is easy to remember and assemble.  It's easily doubled.  It's thrown in the crockpot to cook all day.  It has the approval of both the husband AND the kids.  (I'll add a picture next time I make it.)  For my friends in Laramie who requested this recipe, here you go!

1 pound of FROZEN chicken breast (426 cal)
1 pound of FROZEN corn (367 cal)
1 15 oz can of black beans (110 cal)
1 3 oz package cream cheese (298 cal)
1 pint medium salsa (or whichever sizzle you choose) (80 cal)

Combine in a crock pot.  Cook on high 3-4 hours, low 6-8 hours.  Remove chicken and shred.  Return to pot.  Serve alone, over rice or in a tortilla.  Garnish as desired.  Makes two quarts or 8 - 12 servings. Total calories 1281 or 106 - 160 cal per serving.

As my husband would say, "This is TASTY."

Recipe - Fruit Salad

In the spirit of adding more fruits and vegetables to our diet, I made this last night for supper.  It is a really good fruit salad.  When you see the calorie total at the end, you'll see why.

2 small (or one large) red delicious apples (128 cal)
2 small (or one large) granny smith apples (126 cal)
2 bartlet pears (162 cal)
1 medium orange (90 cal)
1 banana (121 cal)
1/2 cup mayo (458 cal)
1/4 cup sugar (194 cal)
2 tsp lemon juice (6 cal)
Cut fruit into bite size pieces.  Place in bowl and add lemon juice.  Toss.  Make sure fruit is well covered to prevent browning.  Mix mayo and sugar together to make dressing.  Pour over salad and mix.  Can be served right away or chilled for two hours.  It is actually better after sitting for a little bit.  Makes 6 cups or 12 servings.  1285 total calories, 107 calories per serving.  (Not as bad as I thought it would be.)

My grandmother made this salad.  When I became a mother and desired to make this, I asked around for the recipe.  No one had it.  The only response I got for amounts was "enough".  Actually, that's how I cook a lot.

Until last night, I had never measured the mayo and sugar before.  I had always added "enough".  Last night when I made it, I used a cup of mayo and 1/2 cup of sugar.  It was too much, almost by double.  So the salad I made last night had 1937 total calories or 162 cal per serving.

It's been four weeks

    It's been four weeks since I've started this adventure.  I've learned a lot about myself and my eating habits.  I've worked at it.  I've changed some things.  I've definitely struggled.  I move forward two steps and step back one and a half, BUT there's forward progress.

    I estimate I've lowered my calories to about 2200 to 2500 per day.  It's about 500 to 1200 calories less than I was eating (see this blog and this blog).   I seem to handle that well without feeling like I'm starving.  I've gained some energy back.  I'm blogging regularly again (although I missed yesterday....it WAS Friday the 13th....  LMBO!)

    My rough idea in my head is to try and maintain at this calorie level for a couple weeks and then lower it again.  Of course, there's always the exercise  that I haven't even TRIED to fit into my day.  We are supposed to close on the new house on the 30th (We are trying to get it moved up).  The next couple weeks are going to be really busy.  I'm using that as an excuse to not start too many new things.

    I did finally speak to my friend who is the physical trainer.  She suggested this week I start adding in more fruits and veggies.  Okay.  I've heard of those......  8^/  We have an "appointment" to meet up on Tuesdays.  It'll be good.



March 14 2015

Feb 14, 2015
 

    So, this morning I weighed myself.  It said 305.  4 pounds, one per week.  Not bad, considering all the struggles I've been having.  And I doesn't feel as if I've really done anything.  So here's the pictures I took this morning (I tried to smile today):

    I don't see much difference (it's four pounds) and the pictures suck.  I may have to ask my hubby for help.

    More to come.  See you tomorrow.
    Same Bat time, same Bat
                                                channel.

Feb 14, 2015
 

March 14, 2015

What I've learned about my eating habits

   So the binge I've had this last week has made me really look at why I eat.  Sounds odd.  I should be eating because I'm hungry, right?  Nope.  Not me.
   I eat because:
      1.  I'm bored and I want something for my hands to do;
      2.  I'm passing Taco Bell;
      3.  The food I'm fixing at that moment is too delicious to pass up;
      4.  I'm passing Chipotle's;
      5.  It's the correct time of day to eat;
      6.  I'm passing McDonald's;
      7.  I'm in 7-11 and already purchasing the Dr. Pepper so I might as well purchase the bag
           of cheese puffcorn;
      8.  I'm passing the refrigerator;
      9.  It's Thursday;
    10.  It's Monday, I've been shopping all day and now I'm at Sam's and I'm passing the
           fast food counter at the front of the store.

   Anywhere in the above statements have you seen the phrase "Because I'm hungry."?

   I don't either.

   BECAUSE IT'S NOT THERE!!

   Now, you may think that I'm being facetious or dramatic.  Well, maybe I am a tad.  I don't stop every single time I pass Taco Bell, Chipotle or McDonald's.  But I do make a mental note to make sure I stop when I'm out and alone (feeding someone else who may be in the vehicle can become expensive).  Does that make me a closet binger?  Never heard of it, but I'm not tossing out possibilities.

   But, the majority of what I say above is correct.  I really never eat because I'm hungry.  Number 8 really frustrates me when I realize I opened the door just because I passed it.  And since I've gone through the trouble of opening the door, I might as well grab a snack, right? :/

   This phenomenon was really obvious when I was eating crap last week and I was full.  Literally, I was stuffed.  Like when you've had WAY too much at Thanksgiving.  AND I KEPT EATING IT.
   I guess that's reason number:
     11.  I can't waste the food.
  Oh! I almost forgot number:
     12.  I am doing something creative (with my hands even) and my creative energy is spent
            so I need to do something different with my hands and have a snack.

What did Charlie Brown say?

AAAUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!

Today's food:
5:15 - One piece of ham lunchmeat and a single slice of Colby Jack cheese
7:30 - A medium sized bowl of Cream of Wheat with a tablespoon of White Grape Jelly
12:30 - (my blood sugar is so low at this point, I'm shaking.  Why? Because I was shopping and forgot about my eat-something-small-every-three-hours-to-keep-your-blood-sugar-level snacks.)  One Sam's size piece of all-meat pizza (equivalent of two slices) and a 32 oz Full-HighFructoseCornSyrup Dr. Pepper.
5:30 - snacking on the ham, rice and cheese casserole I'm making for supper as I prepare it.  Why? Because I was at the doctor's office all afternoon with Ryan getting his unbroken arm cleared for PE again and I forgot about my eating schedule.  (If I made this sound like Ryan's fault, it's not.  It's mine.  Just frustrating.)  Man.  I'm going to have to start packing around a diaper bag again just so I can eat small snacks!
6:15 - Eating my chicken and bean tortillas while everybody else eats the ham rice and cheese.
6:35 - Stop eating for the night.
8:00 -  keep my hands busy doing dishes while everybody else eats ice cream. :/

AAAUUUGGGGHHHH!!

I have officially blogged today.  Tomorrow will be better.  Have a wonderful evening.  See you tomorrow.
Same Bat time, same Bat channel.

Avoidance

    I've been avoiding blogging because it holds me accountable.  The last week I haven't been doing well at all.
    Well, maybe that's not totally true.  I do well during the day.  I keep track of my calories.  I stick the "diet" I've established.
    And then about 4:00 it all falls to pieces.  I crave sugar.  I crave caffeine.  I crave junk food.
    This week has been horrible for the diet.  Monday, I had a 32 oz fountain Dr. Pepper.  Tuesday, I stopped and got french fries from McDonald's.  Wednesday, I snorked down five of Steph's freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, not to mention sniping dough as she was making them.  Thursday, the piece de resistance, I had a double quarter pounder meal from McD's (I did restrain myself to a medium size and a DIET Dr. Pepper.  I am dieting, you know.)  At least four of the seven days I stopped and bought a 20 oz full-high-fructose-corn-syrup Dr. Pepper when I went to pick up Steph from swimming (a convenient excuse for the convenience store...).  On Friday, I gorged on squiggle.  And yesterday, I devoured TWO pieces of DOUBLE stack chicken and bacon pizza from Papa Murphy's (There were tomatoes on it....).                       

    And I only walked the poor dog once.

PTTTTHHHHHHH!!

    I suck.

    DIETING SUCKS.

    Changing behavior sucks more.

    So today, I spoke to a friend at church.  She's a physical trainer.  She told me I was trying to change TOO MUCH at once.  She suggested instead of jumping from 3000-3400 calories per day to 1500, try only going down to 2200, halfway-ish, and shoot for 1500 later.  Go ahead and have my Dr. Pepper, but make it diet and limit it to a certain amount per day.  (There's these nifty sizes they're selling here that are like 10 ozs and come in an 8 pack.)  Don't eat after 6 p.m. (Well, it'll have to be 6:30, we eat at 6.)  If I want to add walking the dog fine, but if I don't, don't sweat it, I can add that in next week.  She advised I only make one or two changes a week.  And don't forget to call her in the middle of the week.

    Okay.

    Oh, and she said to keep blogging.  Everyday.

    I'm not sure what I'm going to talk about everyday, but okay.  I will.

    Good things that happened this week as far as dieting:
        When I ate the double quarter pounder and medium fries, which I usually get with large fries, I was stuffed before I was done.  Same with the pizza.  I would normally eat three pieces.  So, my stomach must be shrinking.

    Okay.  New plan then.  I'll check back in tomorrow.
    Same Bat time, same Bat channel.

The Dog and the Plan

    Okay.  Exercise.

    I HATE EXERCISE!

    Need I say more?

    The first time I remember actually thinking "I hate this!" was when I was about four or five.  Weird, right?
    At that time, my friends and I were into racing.  More specifically, running...sprinting.  My body isn't built for sprinting.  It never has been.  And It wasn't when I was four and five.  Long legs don't always mean swiftness.  My friend was this short, little, quick bundle of energy.  She always won and I always lost.  (Not trying to sound like I'm whining, just stating motives.)  Well, I gave up on racing my friend, or anyone for that matter.  I told them I didn't like it anymore.
    That's when I started hating exercise.  Yet, I joined sports in junior high and high school.  Well, that was to get out of the house and be with my friends more than for the sports themselves.  When I discovered there were other activities besides sports, like marching band and speech, I dropped the sports and joined those instead.  Yeah...I'm a nerd.
     Anytime I think about heading to the gym or walking or jogging, I am disgusted.  I really dislike the idea.  So, in the past, I haven't.

     I don't think I have a choice anymore.

     So, here's the plan:

     1.  Have a reason to walk.                                                     Check.
          This is Katara.  We adopted her in December.  Don't fret about
          the ears, she's very submissive and ALWAYS looks like that. 
          And she doesn't like having her picture taken.
          In addition, I have decided to not take the closest parking spot
          I can find at the store.  Every little bit helps, right?
     2.  Walk her everyday.                                              Not so Check.
          Walking her everyday was part of the initial plan.  My
          don't-want-to's always seem to take over after a couple of days
          and it stops.  I'm not consistent, which shouldn't be a surprise
          if you've been reading.  Anyway, when she doesn't get walked,
          she gets bored and causes trouble.  So, there's more of a reason
          to get it done.
     3.  Start slow.                                                              Mega Check.
          My body doesn't handle fast paces anymore.  I have to start slow
          or I will give up just a couple days into it.  See #2.
     4.  Increase distance and intensity.                     Check if I have to.
          I know, I know, this is the ultimate point.

So, there it is.  The plan.  Updates to come.