Happy Wednesday to everyone. I hope you've had a wonderful week.
My week has been full of everything that surrounds trying to raise four kids, helping a very busy husband and publish a book. Exercise didn't fall high on the list of importance. In fact, I walked last Thursday and then again this morning (more because I felt guilty every time the dog looked at me with her sad eyes). But the other five days of this last week, yeah, no.
First off, I have to say, there's a LOT that I never realized went into publishing a book. I'm close... I'm very close. I was hoping I could have it all taken care of by this last Saturday. No, it took longer than I expected. In addition, I've now been reading all these things about what to do right before you publish and, well, let's just say I think it's going to be another three or four weeks. Books last for a really long time. I want to make sure it's just right before I send it in to be put on permanent paper. A little frustrating, but at the same time, it's necessary.
Anyway, back to this blog. This morning I weighed in at 292 lbs. Down only three, and still within a 1% margin. Nothing to write home about, kids. But then, I'm not all that serious about it right now. If you've been reading you probably know that.
Maybe I need to be blogging more than once a week. I've been rather consistent with my other blog about my book and I write everyday. Hmm. Now the wheels in my mind are reeling. Okay, let's start with twice a week, Wednesday and Saturday. Saturday seems to be the day that I tank out on walking. In the past, writing this blog was one way to hold myself accountable.... If all things are spinning correctly in the universe, this could work.
Let's hope an asteroid doesn't mess up our orbit. :D
It could happen....
See you Saturday.
Showing posts with label being happy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label being happy. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Priorities
Hello, again.
It's been almost ten months to the date that I've posted.
Sorry I abandoned you.
About a month before I stopped writing, I started working again. I answered phones in a call center for an insurance company as a temporary employee. About a month ago, I got laid off. Financially, it's probably not the best thing in the world. Emotionally, the lay off was a good thing. Answering constant phone calls is very stressful. And while I kept it professional at work, at home I was tired, grumpy and Tyson told me I was becoming very negative.
My first week off, I turned into mental Jell-O. The next week, I had missed a personal deadline for getting the book out to my betas so I busted through what I needed to so I could get back on track. The third week, we prepared for the first week of school. Last week, the kids started school and I settled back into being a mom and a wife. I'm doing much better now, even I can feel it.
A few days after my last post was another NaNoWriMo. That totally trashed any attempt at losing weight ever since. That month, I wrote the third draft of the book I'm about to publish and the first draft of the second book. When November was over, I had the writing bug bad and I've been working on rewrites in my free time ever since.
Now that I have MORE free time (because being a stay-at-home mom gives me all kinds of free time HA!), my priorities have changed again. The book is still high priority and I'd consider myself a 3/4-time writer. Still tweaking the schedule so I can get everything done, but it seems to be going well. If there were just a couple more hours in the day so I could write, it would be wonderful. ;)
Anyway, between the two above reasons, I have neglected my weight loss/healthy changes. I plan to get back into it.
That said, I haven't weighed myself in months. When I did the other day, I was 293. I've gained back 8 to 10 pounds of what I lost. Considering I wasn't watching what I was eating and I wasn't exercising, I don't think that's too bad. In addition, it's not the 309 that started me on this whole journey.
I started walking the dog again last week. I did 1.2 miles Wednesday and Thursday last week and again Tuesday and today. I'm really sore but I'm managing to do it.
It's all about priorities, isn't it. :)
Speaking of, keep an eye out for my new book. If all things come out in the wash, it should be coming mid-September. I'll keep you posted.
And my goal is to post for this blog once a week. See you soon!
It's been almost ten months to the date that I've posted.
Sorry I abandoned you.
About a month before I stopped writing, I started working again. I answered phones in a call center for an insurance company as a temporary employee. About a month ago, I got laid off. Financially, it's probably not the best thing in the world. Emotionally, the lay off was a good thing. Answering constant phone calls is very stressful. And while I kept it professional at work, at home I was tired, grumpy and Tyson told me I was becoming very negative.
My first week off, I turned into mental Jell-O. The next week, I had missed a personal deadline for getting the book out to my betas so I busted through what I needed to so I could get back on track. The third week, we prepared for the first week of school. Last week, the kids started school and I settled back into being a mom and a wife. I'm doing much better now, even I can feel it.
A few days after my last post was another NaNoWriMo. That totally trashed any attempt at losing weight ever since. That month, I wrote the third draft of the book I'm about to publish and the first draft of the second book. When November was over, I had the writing bug bad and I've been working on rewrites in my free time ever since.
Now that I have MORE free time (because being a stay-at-home mom gives me all kinds of free time HA!), my priorities have changed again. The book is still high priority and I'd consider myself a 3/4-time writer. Still tweaking the schedule so I can get everything done, but it seems to be going well. If there were just a couple more hours in the day so I could write, it would be wonderful. ;)
Anyway, between the two above reasons, I have neglected my weight loss/healthy changes. I plan to get back into it.
That said, I haven't weighed myself in months. When I did the other day, I was 293. I've gained back 8 to 10 pounds of what I lost. Considering I wasn't watching what I was eating and I wasn't exercising, I don't think that's too bad. In addition, it's not the 309 that started me on this whole journey.
I started walking the dog again last week. I did 1.2 miles Wednesday and Thursday last week and again Tuesday and today. I'm really sore but I'm managing to do it.
It's all about priorities, isn't it. :)
Speaking of, keep an eye out for my new book. If all things come out in the wash, it should be coming mid-September. I'll keep you posted.
And my goal is to post for this blog once a week. See you soon!
Saturday, July 4, 2015
20 Week Update - July 4, 2015
Happy Independence Day!
I can't believe it's already been five(ish) months since I started this. I have learned a lot about myself and how my body reacts to different things I intake and do to it.
This week, I've been struggling with my depression. I talked about that a few days ago in this post. I've slowly been feeling better. The only other thought I have about it concerns expectations. Perhaps feeling happy all the time or the majority of the time is not realistic; not true life experience.
Anyway, I have been weighing myself everyday. I know some people have advised to not do this, however I find it keeps me centered on what is going on. It is interesting to see what happens when exercise doesn't happen or I eat too much the day before. Here is my chart for this last four weeks. The blue line is June, orange July. The purple dots mean I'm above 300 pounds that day, the red mean I'm between 290 and 300. I weighed in today at 295.5 pounds. (Please ignore the June dates at the bottom. I haven't been able to figure out a way to change it to just numbers yet, without making a new chart.)
It was cooler this morning when we went out. I wanted to get a good walk in. The family and I also played in the pool this afternoon for about 90 minutes. It was a nice temperature, about 83 F (28 C), and felt really good. Tonight, we sat at on the edge of the bluffs in the hot wind, watching the fireworks in the distance. I think we had a good day today.
I managed to talk my husband into taking pictures for me again this morning. Here's the comparison with Valentine's Day and July:
(I'm fighting with formatting today. And I'm giving up. I'm sorry these aren't side by side. I'll try again later....)
That's all I have to update for the four weeks. Have a happy Fourth of July.
Monday, March 9, 2015
What I've learned about my eating habits
So the binge I've had this last week has made me really look at why I eat. Sounds odd. I should be eating because I'm hungry, right? Nope. Not me.
I eat because:
1. I'm bored and I want something for my hands to do;
2. I'm passing Taco Bell;
3. The food I'm fixing at that moment is too delicious to pass up;
4. I'm passing Chipotle's;
5. It's the correct time of day to eat;
6. I'm passing McDonald's;
7. I'm in 7-11 and already purchasing the Dr. Pepper so I might as well purchase the bag
of cheese puffcorn;
8. I'm passing the refrigerator;
9. It's Thursday;
10. It's Monday, I've been shopping all day and now I'm at Sam's and I'm passing the
fast food counter at the front of the store.
Anywhere in the above statements have you seen the phrase "Because I'm hungry."?
I don't either.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT THERE!!
Now, you may think that I'm being facetious or dramatic. Well, maybe I am a tad. I don't stop every single time I pass Taco Bell, Chipotle or McDonald's. But I do make a mental note to make sure I stop when I'm out and alone (feeding someone else who may be in the vehicle can become expensive). Does that make me a closet binger? Never heard of it, but I'm not tossing out possibilities.
But, the majority of what I say above is correct. I really never eat because I'm hungry. Number 8 really frustrates me when I realize I opened the door just because I passed it. And since I've gone through the trouble of opening the door, I might as well grab a snack, right? :/
This phenomenon was really obvious when I was eating crap last week and I was full. Literally, I was stuffed. Like when you've had WAY too much at Thanksgiving. AND I KEPT EATING IT.
I guess that's reason number:
11. I can't waste the food.
Oh! I almost forgot number:
12. I am doing something creative (with my hands even) and my creative energy is spent
so I need to do something different with my hands and have a snack.
What did Charlie Brown say?
AAAUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!
Today's food:
5:15 - One piece of ham lunchmeat and a single slice of Colby Jack cheese
7:30 - A medium sized bowl of Cream of Wheat with a tablespoon of White Grape Jelly
12:30 - (my blood sugar is so low at this point, I'm shaking. Why? Because I was shopping and forgot about my eat-something-small-every-three-hours-to-keep-your-blood-sugar-level snacks.) One Sam's size piece of all-meat pizza (equivalent of two slices) and a 32 oz Full-HighFructoseCornSyrup Dr. Pepper.
5:30 - snacking on the ham, rice and cheese casserole I'm making for supper as I prepare it. Why? Because I was at the doctor's office all afternoon with Ryan getting his unbroken arm cleared for PE again and I forgot about my eating schedule. (If I made this sound like Ryan's fault, it's not. It's mine. Just frustrating.) Man. I'm going to have to start packing around a diaper bag again just so I can eat small snacks!
6:15 - Eating my chicken and bean tortillas while everybody else eats the ham rice and cheese.
6:35 - Stop eating for the night.
8:00 - keep my hands busy doing dishes while everybody else eats ice cream. :/
AAAUUUGGGGHHHH!!
I have officially blogged today. Tomorrow will be better. Have a wonderful evening. See you tomorrow.
Same Bat time, same Bat channel.
I eat because:
1. I'm bored and I want something for my hands to do;
2. I'm passing Taco Bell;
3. The food I'm fixing at that moment is too delicious to pass up;
4. I'm passing Chipotle's;
5. It's the correct time of day to eat;
6. I'm passing McDonald's;
7. I'm in 7-11 and already purchasing the Dr. Pepper so I might as well purchase the bag
of cheese puffcorn;
8. I'm passing the refrigerator;
9. It's Thursday;
10. It's Monday, I've been shopping all day and now I'm at Sam's and I'm passing the
fast food counter at the front of the store.
Anywhere in the above statements have you seen the phrase "Because I'm hungry."?
I don't either.
BECAUSE IT'S NOT THERE!!
Now, you may think that I'm being facetious or dramatic. Well, maybe I am a tad. I don't stop every single time I pass Taco Bell, Chipotle or McDonald's. But I do make a mental note to make sure I stop when I'm out and alone (feeding someone else who may be in the vehicle can become expensive). Does that make me a closet binger? Never heard of it, but I'm not tossing out possibilities.
But, the majority of what I say above is correct. I really never eat because I'm hungry. Number 8 really frustrates me when I realize I opened the door just because I passed it. And since I've gone through the trouble of opening the door, I might as well grab a snack, right? :/
This phenomenon was really obvious when I was eating crap last week and I was full. Literally, I was stuffed. Like when you've had WAY too much at Thanksgiving. AND I KEPT EATING IT.
I guess that's reason number:
11. I can't waste the food.
Oh! I almost forgot number:
12. I am doing something creative (with my hands even) and my creative energy is spent
so I need to do something different with my hands and have a snack.
What did Charlie Brown say?
AAAUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!
Today's food:
5:15 - One piece of ham lunchmeat and a single slice of Colby Jack cheese
7:30 - A medium sized bowl of Cream of Wheat with a tablespoon of White Grape Jelly
12:30 - (my blood sugar is so low at this point, I'm shaking. Why? Because I was shopping and forgot about my eat-something-small-every-three-hours-to-keep-your-blood-sugar-level snacks.) One Sam's size piece of all-meat pizza (equivalent of two slices) and a 32 oz Full-HighFructoseCornSyrup Dr. Pepper.
5:30 - snacking on the ham, rice and cheese casserole I'm making for supper as I prepare it. Why? Because I was at the doctor's office all afternoon with Ryan getting his unbroken arm cleared for PE again and I forgot about my eating schedule. (If I made this sound like Ryan's fault, it's not. It's mine. Just frustrating.) Man. I'm going to have to start packing around a diaper bag again just so I can eat small snacks!
6:15 - Eating my chicken and bean tortillas while everybody else eats the ham rice and cheese.
6:35 - Stop eating for the night.
8:00 - keep my hands busy doing dishes while everybody else eats ice cream. :/
AAAUUUGGGGHHHH!!
I have officially blogged today. Tomorrow will be better. Have a wonderful evening. See you tomorrow.
Same Bat time, same Bat channel.
Thursday, February 26, 2015
The Dog and the Plan
Okay. Exercise.
I HATE EXERCISE!
Need I say more?
The first time I remember actually thinking "I hate this!" was when I was about four or five. Weird, right?
At that time, my friends and I were into racing. More specifically, running...sprinting. My body isn't built for sprinting. It never has been. And It wasn't when I was four and five. Long legs don't always mean swiftness. My friend was this short, little, quick bundle of energy. She always won and I always lost. (Not trying to sound like I'm whining, just stating motives.) Well, I gave up on racing my friend, or anyone for that matter. I told them I didn't like it anymore.
That's when I started hating exercise. Yet, I joined sports in junior high and high school. Well, that was to get out of the house and be with my friends more than for the sports themselves. When I discovered there were other activities besides sports, like marching band and speech, I dropped the sports and joined those instead. Yeah...I'm a nerd.
Anytime I think about heading to the gym or walking or jogging, I am disgusted. I really dislike the idea. So, in the past, I haven't.
I don't think I have a choice anymore.
So, here's the plan:
1. Have a reason to walk. Check.
This is Katara. We adopted her in December. Don't fret about
the ears, she's very submissive and ALWAYS looks like that.
And she doesn't like having her picture taken.
In addition, I have decided to not take the closest parking spot
I can find at the store. Every little bit helps, right?
2. Walk her everyday. Not so Check.
Walking her everyday was part of the initial plan. My
don't-want-to's always seem to take over after a couple of days
and it stops. I'm not consistent, which shouldn't be a surprise
if you've been reading. Anyway, when she doesn't get walked,
she gets bored and causes trouble. So, there's more of a reason
to get it done.
3. Start slow. Mega Check.
My body doesn't handle fast paces anymore. I have to start slow
or I will give up just a couple days into it. See #2.
4. Increase distance and intensity. Check if I have to.
I know, I know, this is the ultimate point.
So, there it is. The plan. Updates to come.
I HATE EXERCISE!
Need I say more?
The first time I remember actually thinking "I hate this!" was when I was about four or five. Weird, right?
At that time, my friends and I were into racing. More specifically, running...sprinting. My body isn't built for sprinting. It never has been. And It wasn't when I was four and five. Long legs don't always mean swiftness. My friend was this short, little, quick bundle of energy. She always won and I always lost. (Not trying to sound like I'm whining, just stating motives.) Well, I gave up on racing my friend, or anyone for that matter. I told them I didn't like it anymore.
That's when I started hating exercise. Yet, I joined sports in junior high and high school. Well, that was to get out of the house and be with my friends more than for the sports themselves. When I discovered there were other activities besides sports, like marching band and speech, I dropped the sports and joined those instead. Yeah...I'm a nerd.
Anytime I think about heading to the gym or walking or jogging, I am disgusted. I really dislike the idea. So, in the past, I haven't.
I don't think I have a choice anymore.
So, here's the plan:
This is Katara. We adopted her in December. Don't fret about
the ears, she's very submissive and ALWAYS looks like that.
And she doesn't like having her picture taken.
In addition, I have decided to not take the closest parking spot
I can find at the store. Every little bit helps, right?
2. Walk her everyday. Not so Check.
Walking her everyday was part of the initial plan. My
don't-want-to's always seem to take over after a couple of days
and it stops. I'm not consistent, which shouldn't be a surprise
if you've been reading. Anyway, when she doesn't get walked,
she gets bored and causes trouble. So, there's more of a reason
to get it done.
3. Start slow. Mega Check.
My body doesn't handle fast paces anymore. I have to start slow
or I will give up just a couple days into it. See #2.
4. Increase distance and intensity. Check if I have to.
I know, I know, this is the ultimate point.
So, there it is. The plan. Updates to come.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Today Is One Of THOSE Days And How I Handle Stress
Today was one of those days that I just wanted to go back to bed. (I did take a nap, so technically, I did go back to bed.) I've had that feeling all day. I just want to send up a finger and tell the world to leave me alone.
The day started off with a fog delay. Stephanie, Tyson (when he's here) and I get up at 5 a.m. to get her to seminary. She gets ready and I make school lunches and breakfast.
We have a neighbor that we carpool with and it was their turn to drive. Five minutes until six, Mrs. Peterson called to tell us there was a fog delay. When that happens, school starts two hours late and there's no seminary.
So, we were happy, we could go back to bed. We changed the alarms and laid back down. The boys slept in.
At 8:00, Tyson got up and went to the house we're trying to purchase for an inspection. At 8:30 I got everybody up. At 9:10, Stephi, Ryleigh and I got into the car. The twins had instructions to leave by 9:20 and Ryan to leave at 9:40.
I dropped Stephi off and headed across town to the inspection. When I got there, I received a phone call from the house phone. That shouldn't be happening, everyone should be gone. I answered and it was Devon. Apparently, his school didn't have a fog delay today so the twins went home. That also meant Ryan didn't have one either.
(Explanation, the school districts here are set up weird. The high schools are all combined into a separate district from the elementary and middle or junior high schools. Those are grouped together in districts based on areas of town. So, when Stephi's school district has a fog delay, the other ones may not. This was weird at the beginning of the year. Stephi started school two days after the boys. This was remedied when the boys all had a week off for Thanksgiving, but Stephi didn't.)
So, back to the day. Tyson had been walking around the "new" house with the inspector all morning. They were almost done when Ryleigh and I got there. I made the appropriate calls to schools while they finished.
Inspections are nerve-wracking. There are some minor repairs that Tyson and I could take a few hours and take care of ourselves, but since it's not our house yet.... I know, it's to protect us in case something falls through.... But, there are exterior forces that are pushing us to get this done and we just want to jump in, fix it ourselves and move on!
So let me back up and explain the house. Two weeks ago, even though I didn't realize it at the time, Heavenly Father was prompting me to look at houses. A For whatever reason, around the beginning of the month, we started looking at land to purchase. We miss the open feel of Wyoming. The town is crowded. We found this great piece of land, about 20 acres, about 30 minutes to the north. There were hills and a small creek. We could even see the snowcapped Sierras in the eastern distance. We miss seeing the mountains.
When we called the realtor, she asked us about pre-qualification for a loan. We have been pre-qualified since November. However, that expired, ironically, the day before we found the property. So, we needed to fix that.
Two Fridays ago, we went in and got our pre-approval, reapproved. We were also informed they don't finance for more than 10 acres. (There is either nothing that size around town or it is grossly overpriced.) So, after getting the re-pre-approval I spent the rest of the afternoon driving around town, eliminating houses mostly based on neighborhood.
I called the realtor later that day. I had narrowed it down to three, but I my eye on a five bedroom house on the far northeast of town. Five bedroom houses are extremely hard to find, especially in the mid $200's. She needed to make an appointment because the house is rented. She also wanted to do it for a time when Tyson could go, which is difficult. (Tyson is on call 24/7.) But, he's usually done by mid to late afternoon, so we were shooting for early evening. That worked for her too, she had an afternoon open house.
Well, she never go a hold of them. The next morning, I got on the mls to check on one of the other three houses I was watching. (This market is extremely fast with decent houses.) A new house popped up down the street from that one. The price had just been lowered into our price range that morning. I called the realtor.
Tyson and I loved the house. It has four bedrooms with a dining room that can be transformed into a bedroom (5!). Only two baths, but that's workable. 2300 square feet, which is big for this price range. A pool in the back yard, which makes the yard smaller, but not unworkable...at all. It was built in 1976 and is just east of the college in town. The crime rate is comparable to the area we live in, which isn't bad. The schools are okay. We could do worse, I'm told. (I'm also told the schools we're in now are the best ones in town..........that leaves something to be desired, in my opinion.)
Anyway, we weren't sure about an offer. We didn't have the tax return yet so there was no down payment. And it felt like we were jumping really fast. (We actually jump into a lot of things, it seems that's how our life goes.) So, we decided to drive around town and look at numerous other houses that fit some of our criteria and think about it.
Well, the other houses were in our price range for a reason. They were NOT in good areas of town. I mean SCARY. There were a couple worth perhaps considering, but they were ify.
We went home and prayed about it. While we prayed together, we asked if we should put an offer in on the house. I got two distinctive answers of "yes" during the prayer. Tyson still wasn't sure. So, he took a nap. :)
The realtor called us at four, right when her open house was done. As the phone rang, I told Tyson we needed to decide. He was half awake and said his gut said yes.
The realtor told us there was two other offers in since that morning. The sellers were asking $239, so I told her to offer $242 and ask for half of closing. We signed the offer that Saturday evening and sent it off.
Well, the realtor called me the next day and told me she needed a copy of the -pre-qualification letter. I told her I didn't get one so we'll have to call on Monday morning.
It took me until 12:15 to finally get a hold of the guy. He had concerns. Tyson works a lot of overtime and that worried him, especially since his hours (and income) has come down since we've come to California. He needed to see his latest paystubs. I don't know if this guy is new or not, but I had all that information in front of him the previous Friday. Why didn't it come up then?
Well, the 2:00 information call turned into 4:00. Then it turned into 9 a.m. on Tuesday. GAHH.
Tuesday morning (the 10th) I got up and prayed, like normal. I just told Heavenly Father that I was prepared for His will to be done. If we didn't get the house, well, we could stay where we are and pay some things off. It'll be okay. It really didn't make sense to be buying this house yet anyway. We didn't even have the down payment, for the love of Pete.
At 9:10, our realtor called, saying the loan had gone through. The only conclusion I could come up with was Heavenly Father wanted us to buy a house. Now, if the seller of this house accepts our offer.....
Well, the seller had surgery on Wednesday, so they didn't get the offer until Thursday morning. We had a call that evening that we had a counter.
The counter was minor. The seller wanted to use their own geologist and look at the inspection bids so they could put their input in. Uh...okay.
We opened escrow on Friday with a closing date of March 30th.
Oh, here's the plot twist. On the 10th, Tyson received a text from our current landlord. She's apparently buying another house in a different state and needs to sell this house. She hates to sell it out from under us and put us in a bind. But, if we could, please move out asap. Oh, and would you consider buying my house? For $275? (Only three bedrooms and 1800 square feet.)
Now we understand why Heavenly Father was prompting us to look at houses.
So, that brings us back to today. After the inspection, Tyson and I went down to the mortgage brokers to select a loan and put things in motion. There's a few minor fixes, like I said above, but the hitch is we should get them done before the appraisal so we don't have to pay for the appraiser to come out again. The news about the inspection and appraiser isn't necessarily bad news, it just puts us under another time crunch with something that is beyond our control.
We came home and ate lunch. Then I put Ryleigh down for a nap and stayed for about 20 minutes. Then I went and picked Stephi up from school and took her to swimming.
At this point, Tyson and I are on overload and are grumpy. Stephi has been a moody teenager lately. Between 5 am starts, swimming after school and a high school campus the size of a community college, she is tired and grumpy. The two of us in the same car and grumpy didn't mix well.
I came home and got into a hot bath. It didn't help.
Tyson's began working on gathering loan information about his overtime hours. He was stressed.
It's now 4:30 pm and time to pick up Stephi and cook supper. We had a family invitation to a friend's house tonight so I wanted to be eating by 6:30. I didn't plan well and now my time is short. I'm stressed.
Tyson's my go-to when I'm stressed. I can melt into his hugs and feel the stress drain away. Tyson will respond to hugs when he's stressed, but he's more of a fixer. He's not completely stress free until the situation is fixed. My bid for a hug didn't go very far.
So, I leave to go get Steph but I stop at the 7-11. I go straight for the Dr. Pepper, which are 2 for 2.50, and grab a bag of cheese puffcorn. The Dr. Pepper has always been a stress reliever for me. The puffcorn is a newer development.
Well, neither are a good choice when one is trying (barely, it feels like) to loose weight. However, the endorphins that flowed through me as I was eating and drinking felt wonderful. In the 30 minutes I was gone, I polished off both the bag and the bottle. Wham. Like 800 calories in one small binge.
But I didn't feel guilty. I didn't care. I got my endorphins and I didn't feel as stressed. That's what I wanted and that's what I got.
I came home and went to the bedroom. Tyson was sitting on the bed with his laptop on his lap, still trying to figure out everything with his overtime.
I purposefully walked over to him and removed his laptop, with some playful resistance from him, and put it to the side. I gathered his hands up and pulled on his arms so he would get the hint to stand up.
I walked him to the middle of the room and said, "I need my best friend. Not my husband. Not the man I'm buying a house with. My best friend."
His face softened as he realized what I was asking for. He hugged me. A true, focused hug. I felt the remainder of my stress wash away. I could feel him relax. It was good for both of us.
Here's what I learned, or relearned, today (after this huge, long rant):
The day started off with a fog delay. Stephanie, Tyson (when he's here) and I get up at 5 a.m. to get her to seminary. She gets ready and I make school lunches and breakfast.
We have a neighbor that we carpool with and it was their turn to drive. Five minutes until six, Mrs. Peterson called to tell us there was a fog delay. When that happens, school starts two hours late and there's no seminary.
So, we were happy, we could go back to bed. We changed the alarms and laid back down. The boys slept in.
At 8:00, Tyson got up and went to the house we're trying to purchase for an inspection. At 8:30 I got everybody up. At 9:10, Stephi, Ryleigh and I got into the car. The twins had instructions to leave by 9:20 and Ryan to leave at 9:40.
I dropped Stephi off and headed across town to the inspection. When I got there, I received a phone call from the house phone. That shouldn't be happening, everyone should be gone. I answered and it was Devon. Apparently, his school didn't have a fog delay today so the twins went home. That also meant Ryan didn't have one either.
(Explanation, the school districts here are set up weird. The high schools are all combined into a separate district from the elementary and middle or junior high schools. Those are grouped together in districts based on areas of town. So, when Stephi's school district has a fog delay, the other ones may not. This was weird at the beginning of the year. Stephi started school two days after the boys. This was remedied when the boys all had a week off for Thanksgiving, but Stephi didn't.)
So, back to the day. Tyson had been walking around the "new" house with the inspector all morning. They were almost done when Ryleigh and I got there. I made the appropriate calls to schools while they finished.
Inspections are nerve-wracking. There are some minor repairs that Tyson and I could take a few hours and take care of ourselves, but since it's not our house yet.... I know, it's to protect us in case something falls through.... But, there are exterior forces that are pushing us to get this done and we just want to jump in, fix it ourselves and move on!
So let me back up and explain the house. Two weeks ago, even though I didn't realize it at the time, Heavenly Father was prompting me to look at houses. A For whatever reason, around the beginning of the month, we started looking at land to purchase. We miss the open feel of Wyoming. The town is crowded. We found this great piece of land, about 20 acres, about 30 minutes to the north. There were hills and a small creek. We could even see the snowcapped Sierras in the eastern distance. We miss seeing the mountains.
When we called the realtor, she asked us about pre-qualification for a loan. We have been pre-qualified since November. However, that expired, ironically, the day before we found the property. So, we needed to fix that.
Two Fridays ago, we went in and got our pre-approval, reapproved. We were also informed they don't finance for more than 10 acres. (There is either nothing that size around town or it is grossly overpriced.) So, after getting the re-pre-approval I spent the rest of the afternoon driving around town, eliminating houses mostly based on neighborhood.
I called the realtor later that day. I had narrowed it down to three, but I my eye on a five bedroom house on the far northeast of town. Five bedroom houses are extremely hard to find, especially in the mid $200's. She needed to make an appointment because the house is rented. She also wanted to do it for a time when Tyson could go, which is difficult. (Tyson is on call 24/7.) But, he's usually done by mid to late afternoon, so we were shooting for early evening. That worked for her too, she had an afternoon open house.
Well, she never go a hold of them. The next morning, I got on the mls to check on one of the other three houses I was watching. (This market is extremely fast with decent houses.) A new house popped up down the street from that one. The price had just been lowered into our price range that morning. I called the realtor.
Tyson and I loved the house. It has four bedrooms with a dining room that can be transformed into a bedroom (5!). Only two baths, but that's workable. 2300 square feet, which is big for this price range. A pool in the back yard, which makes the yard smaller, but not unworkable...at all. It was built in 1976 and is just east of the college in town. The crime rate is comparable to the area we live in, which isn't bad. The schools are okay. We could do worse, I'm told. (I'm also told the schools we're in now are the best ones in town..........that leaves something to be desired, in my opinion.)
Anyway, we weren't sure about an offer. We didn't have the tax return yet so there was no down payment. And it felt like we were jumping really fast. (We actually jump into a lot of things, it seems that's how our life goes.) So, we decided to drive around town and look at numerous other houses that fit some of our criteria and think about it.
Well, the other houses were in our price range for a reason. They were NOT in good areas of town. I mean SCARY. There were a couple worth perhaps considering, but they were ify.
We went home and prayed about it. While we prayed together, we asked if we should put an offer in on the house. I got two distinctive answers of "yes" during the prayer. Tyson still wasn't sure. So, he took a nap. :)
The realtor called us at four, right when her open house was done. As the phone rang, I told Tyson we needed to decide. He was half awake and said his gut said yes.
The realtor told us there was two other offers in since that morning. The sellers were asking $239, so I told her to offer $242 and ask for half of closing. We signed the offer that Saturday evening and sent it off.
Well, the realtor called me the next day and told me she needed a copy of the -pre-qualification letter. I told her I didn't get one so we'll have to call on Monday morning.
It took me until 12:15 to finally get a hold of the guy. He had concerns. Tyson works a lot of overtime and that worried him, especially since his hours (and income) has come down since we've come to California. He needed to see his latest paystubs. I don't know if this guy is new or not, but I had all that information in front of him the previous Friday. Why didn't it come up then?
Well, the 2:00 information call turned into 4:00. Then it turned into 9 a.m. on Tuesday. GAHH.
Tuesday morning (the 10th) I got up and prayed, like normal. I just told Heavenly Father that I was prepared for His will to be done. If we didn't get the house, well, we could stay where we are and pay some things off. It'll be okay. It really didn't make sense to be buying this house yet anyway. We didn't even have the down payment, for the love of Pete.
At 9:10, our realtor called, saying the loan had gone through. The only conclusion I could come up with was Heavenly Father wanted us to buy a house. Now, if the seller of this house accepts our offer.....
Well, the seller had surgery on Wednesday, so they didn't get the offer until Thursday morning. We had a call that evening that we had a counter.
The counter was minor. The seller wanted to use their own geologist and look at the inspection bids so they could put their input in. Uh...okay.
We opened escrow on Friday with a closing date of March 30th.
Oh, here's the plot twist. On the 10th, Tyson received a text from our current landlord. She's apparently buying another house in a different state and needs to sell this house. She hates to sell it out from under us and put us in a bind. But, if we could, please move out asap. Oh, and would you consider buying my house? For $275? (Only three bedrooms and 1800 square feet.)
Now we understand why Heavenly Father was prompting us to look at houses.
So, that brings us back to today. After the inspection, Tyson and I went down to the mortgage brokers to select a loan and put things in motion. There's a few minor fixes, like I said above, but the hitch is we should get them done before the appraisal so we don't have to pay for the appraiser to come out again. The news about the inspection and appraiser isn't necessarily bad news, it just puts us under another time crunch with something that is beyond our control.
We came home and ate lunch. Then I put Ryleigh down for a nap and stayed for about 20 minutes. Then I went and picked Stephi up from school and took her to swimming.
At this point, Tyson and I are on overload and are grumpy. Stephi has been a moody teenager lately. Between 5 am starts, swimming after school and a high school campus the size of a community college, she is tired and grumpy. The two of us in the same car and grumpy didn't mix well.
I came home and got into a hot bath. It didn't help.Tyson's began working on gathering loan information about his overtime hours. He was stressed.
It's now 4:30 pm and time to pick up Stephi and cook supper. We had a family invitation to a friend's house tonight so I wanted to be eating by 6:30. I didn't plan well and now my time is short. I'm stressed.Tyson's my go-to when I'm stressed. I can melt into his hugs and feel the stress drain away. Tyson will respond to hugs when he's stressed, but he's more of a fixer. He's not completely stress free until the situation is fixed. My bid for a hug didn't go very far.
So, I leave to go get Steph but I stop at the 7-11. I go straight for the Dr. Pepper, which are 2 for 2.50, and grab a bag of cheese puffcorn. The Dr. Pepper has always been a stress reliever for me. The puffcorn is a newer development.
Well, neither are a good choice when one is trying (barely, it feels like) to loose weight. However, the endorphins that flowed through me as I was eating and drinking felt wonderful. In the 30 minutes I was gone, I polished off both the bag and the bottle. Wham. Like 800 calories in one small binge.
But I didn't feel guilty. I didn't care. I got my endorphins and I didn't feel as stressed. That's what I wanted and that's what I got.
I came home and went to the bedroom. Tyson was sitting on the bed with his laptop on his lap, still trying to figure out everything with his overtime.
I purposefully walked over to him and removed his laptop, with some playful resistance from him, and put it to the side. I gathered his hands up and pulled on his arms so he would get the hint to stand up.
I walked him to the middle of the room and said, "I need my best friend. Not my husband. Not the man I'm buying a house with. My best friend."
His face softened as he realized what I was asking for. He hugged me. A true, focused hug. I felt the remainder of my stress wash away. I could feel him relax. It was good for both of us.
Here's what I learned, or relearned, today (after this huge, long rant):
- One of the best forms of stress relief for me is my relationship with Tyson;
- When Tyson isn't available to help me with my stress, I either deal with it by sleeping (I didn't really talk about this problem) or I turn to sugary, carb-inflated, calorie stuffed junk;
- When I look at the past six years of Tyson being gone for 2/3 of the time, I can see why I've steadily gained weight.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Happiness is earned
"Happiness must be earned from day to day, but it is worth the effort." - Ezra Taft Benson
Mirraim-Webster defines earn as: 1) to receive as return for effort; 2) to come to be worthy of or entitled to.
That puts a twist on things, to work for and to be worthy of happiness.
It seems to me, the wordly understanding of happiness is something that someone deserves, not earns. Isn't happiness supposed to just happen? Isn't happiness something that should come naturally or easily? When I meet the right person, the one I'll spend the rest of my life with, I'll be happy. When I finally find the right job, one that fits my personality or gives the perfect hours to work, then I'll be happy. When I make more money, I'll be happy. There are a myriad of different applications for this idea.
I have never thought about having to WORK at being HAPPY.
Shouldn't I just do that which makes me happy? Or even better, if it doesn't make me happy, then I shouldn't do it.
I find myself saying this a lot: "I don't wanna ____________". (Fill in the blank with the appropriate chore.) I don't wanna clean the house. I don't wanna do the dishes. I don't wanna cook supper. I don't wanna do the laundry. I don't wanna get dressed today. I don't wanna get outta bed. I don't wanna leave the house.
I think this is a HUGE problem that has led to my obesity. I have a large list of 'don't-wannas'. I have a habit of indulging this list. These 'don't-wannas' feed into a depressive wave that pulls me under and soon, I'm not doing ANYTHING, except beating myself up for not doing anything.
It shows in my diet: I like my cheese puffs and my Dr. Pepper, I don't wanna give them up. It shows in my activity level: I don't wanna exercise, it SUCKS.
What's that saying from the 80's? "Ya' gotta wanna".
Okay, that's true on one level. If I'm going to do something, I have to want to do it. But, it's kind of lazy, isn't it? It's almost an excuse. Well, if I really don't WANT to, then....
The idea at the beginning of this crazy rant, I think, is something that needs to be explored. Happiness is earned. Everything that's good or worthwhile takes work, right?
So what are the things to work for that make happiness? I'm talking true happiness; happiness that doesn't evaporate.
Or is that where the work comes in?
Further study is required, me thinks....
Mirraim-Webster defines earn as: 1) to receive as return for effort; 2) to come to be worthy of or entitled to.
That puts a twist on things, to work for and to be worthy of happiness.
It seems to me, the wordly understanding of happiness is something that someone deserves, not earns. Isn't happiness supposed to just happen? Isn't happiness something that should come naturally or easily? When I meet the right person, the one I'll spend the rest of my life with, I'll be happy. When I finally find the right job, one that fits my personality or gives the perfect hours to work, then I'll be happy. When I make more money, I'll be happy. There are a myriad of different applications for this idea.
I have never thought about having to WORK at being HAPPY.
Shouldn't I just do that which makes me happy? Or even better, if it doesn't make me happy, then I shouldn't do it.
I find myself saying this a lot: "I don't wanna ____________". (Fill in the blank with the appropriate chore.) I don't wanna clean the house. I don't wanna do the dishes. I don't wanna cook supper. I don't wanna do the laundry. I don't wanna get dressed today. I don't wanna get outta bed. I don't wanna leave the house.
I think this is a HUGE problem that has led to my obesity. I have a large list of 'don't-wannas'. I have a habit of indulging this list. These 'don't-wannas' feed into a depressive wave that pulls me under and soon, I'm not doing ANYTHING, except beating myself up for not doing anything.
It shows in my diet: I like my cheese puffs and my Dr. Pepper, I don't wanna give them up. It shows in my activity level: I don't wanna exercise, it SUCKS.
What's that saying from the 80's? "Ya' gotta wanna".
Okay, that's true on one level. If I'm going to do something, I have to want to do it. But, it's kind of lazy, isn't it? It's almost an excuse. Well, if I really don't WANT to, then....
The idea at the beginning of this crazy rant, I think, is something that needs to be explored. Happiness is earned. Everything that's good or worthwhile takes work, right?
So what are the things to work for that make happiness? I'm talking true happiness; happiness that doesn't evaporate.
Or is that where the work comes in?
Further study is required, me thinks....
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