Hello, again.
It's been almost ten months to the date that I've posted.
Sorry I abandoned you.
About a month before I stopped writing, I started working again. I answered phones in a call center for an insurance company as a temporary employee. About a month ago, I got laid off. Financially, it's probably not the best thing in the world. Emotionally, the lay off was a good thing. Answering constant phone calls is very stressful. And while I kept it professional at work, at home I was tired, grumpy and Tyson told me I was becoming very negative.
My first week off, I turned into mental Jell-O. The next week, I had missed a personal deadline for getting the book out to my betas so I busted through what I needed to so I could get back on track. The third week, we prepared for the first week of school. Last week, the kids started school and I settled back into being a mom and a wife. I'm doing much better now, even I can feel it.
A few days after my last post was another NaNoWriMo. That totally trashed any attempt at losing weight ever since. That month, I wrote the third draft of the book I'm about to publish and the first draft of the second book. When November was over, I had the writing bug bad and I've been working on rewrites in my free time ever since.
Now that I have MORE free time (because being a stay-at-home mom gives me all kinds of free time HA!), my priorities have changed again. The book is still high priority and I'd consider myself a 3/4-time writer. Still tweaking the schedule so I can get everything done, but it seems to be going well. If there were just a couple more hours in the day so I could write, it would be wonderful. ;)
Anyway, between the two above reasons, I have neglected my weight loss/healthy changes. I plan to get back into it.
That said, I haven't weighed myself in months. When I did the other day, I was 293. I've gained back 8 to 10 pounds of what I lost. Considering I wasn't watching what I was eating and I wasn't exercising, I don't think that's too bad. In addition, it's not the 309 that started me on this whole journey.
I started walking the dog again last week. I did 1.2 miles Wednesday and Thursday last week and again Tuesday and today. I'm really sore but I'm managing to do it.
It's all about priorities, isn't it. :)
Speaking of, keep an eye out for my new book. If all things come out in the wash, it should be coming mid-September. I'll keep you posted.
And my goal is to post for this blog once a week. See you soon!
Showing posts with label NaNoWriMo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NaNoWriMo. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Saturday, June 6, 2015
Today I Woke Up Pissed Off - A Sixteen Week Update
Today I woke up pissed off. I was mad at myself for having gained so much weight. I was mad at myself for looking like a balloon. I was mad at myself for having such a nonchalant attitude about my weight when I was younger. I was mad at myself for dropping the ball two months ago and not picking it back up. I was mad because I had to get up and do something about it. I was mad that I couldn't keep doing what I've always done, be lazy and not care.
But I got up anyway. After I prayed and unloaded all of that to the Lord, I reaffirmed my determination and decided to pick the ball back up again.
So here I am, back in your hair, to discuss the roller coaster of weight gain and loss; life, basically.
So in April, after we had moved, I dropped this ball to focus on NaNoWriMo. I managed to write a 60,000 word first draft within those thirty days. I continued to work on it in May for a couple weeks and then I dropped that ball, preferring to play on the Sims and feel sorry for myself. When I was writing in April, I decided it wasn't worth the bother of writing this blog and the draft at the same time. I just didn't want to deal with it. It was an excuse, really. If I don't do this blog, then I don't have to hold the mirror in front of myself every day.
But the mirror is always there, whether I want to acknowledge it or not. And my feelings about being overweight haven't changed either, just my desire to deal with it.
I joined a sexual assault survivor's group back when I was twenty-three (1995). During the second meeting, we watched a video of another survivor who did inspirational speeches about overcoming adversity. This was her advice:
"Do your work everyday."
No matter how hard or difficult it is or will be, and it will be, do it everyday, without fail. She was referencing the work of healing. I suppose losing weight is a form of adversity; something I need to heal inside myself. And it is work.
It must be done everyday.
And there will be days in the future when I will forget or want to forget and yearn for something "easier". I was a member of that survivor's group for nine months before my family and I moved to Texas. We worked very hard on many issues of being a survivor. I remember many days of wishing I didn't have to do the work, of wishing it was easier or would simply go away.
Some days were difficult; some were more difficult; a lot were extremely difficult. However, at some point, I'm not sure when, the difficult days became fewer and farther between. Somewhere along the way, my adversity became part of me instead of controlling me.
So I need to do the work. In some ways, I see that this weight is part of that same work I began in '95. It's not the whole cloth, but there are many common threads.
May wasn't all about avoiding the work. About six weeks ago, I decided (again) I needed to start walking the dog. It was something I was dreading, probably simply because I didn't want to do it. I started small. I realized that I was (am) really out of shape. Add that to my propensity of giving something up if I take too big a bite and don't like it, it was necessary to do that.
I started with one lap around the block, about .3 miles. I would take the dog with me when I took the kids to school. When we got home, I'd take her out of the car and immediately go around the block. I knew if I walked into the house, I wouldn't take her back out. I'd find some reason not to.
We walked every day that week except one. My joints burned every time. With the blessings of ibuprofen and naps, I kept doing it.
The next week, I went around my block and then I did another lap around the next block. One day, I drove the laps to see how far I was going. They totaled .7 miles.
Two weeks later, I added a third lap around another block bringing my total to 1.2 miles. We did that once. The next day, I drove her over to a park along the bluffs. There's a really nice, paved walking path there. It's divided into three sections, each one divided by distance and marked.
We are now up to 1.8 miles five days a week, flirting with 2.4 (once this week).
Two weeks ago, when the pool temperature finally got to a good place, I started swimming. It's not Olympic swimming by any means, it's more just gently going back and forth. And it's not everyday, but it's activity.
I'm not sure what my diet is doing, just that it's not what it was back in February and March. I started drinking Diet Dr. Pepper in earnest in April. I justified it because I was under "stress" from writing. Blah, blah, blah. I'll talk about that more in another post.
So, for the update, I'm at 300 pounds today. That's nine pounds down from the beginning.
I'll be checking back in tomorrow...if for anything to report my food....
But I got up anyway. After I prayed and unloaded all of that to the Lord, I reaffirmed my determination and decided to pick the ball back up again.
So here I am, back in your hair, to discuss the roller coaster of weight gain and loss; life, basically.
So in April, after we had moved, I dropped this ball to focus on NaNoWriMo. I managed to write a 60,000 word first draft within those thirty days. I continued to work on it in May for a couple weeks and then I dropped that ball, preferring to play on the Sims and feel sorry for myself. When I was writing in April, I decided it wasn't worth the bother of writing this blog and the draft at the same time. I just didn't want to deal with it. It was an excuse, really. If I don't do this blog, then I don't have to hold the mirror in front of myself every day.
But the mirror is always there, whether I want to acknowledge it or not. And my feelings about being overweight haven't changed either, just my desire to deal with it.
I joined a sexual assault survivor's group back when I was twenty-three (1995). During the second meeting, we watched a video of another survivor who did inspirational speeches about overcoming adversity. This was her advice:
"Do your work everyday."
No matter how hard or difficult it is or will be, and it will be, do it everyday, without fail. She was referencing the work of healing. I suppose losing weight is a form of adversity; something I need to heal inside myself. And it is work.
It must be done everyday.
And there will be days in the future when I will forget or want to forget and yearn for something "easier". I was a member of that survivor's group for nine months before my family and I moved to Texas. We worked very hard on many issues of being a survivor. I remember many days of wishing I didn't have to do the work, of wishing it was easier or would simply go away.
Some days were difficult; some were more difficult; a lot were extremely difficult. However, at some point, I'm not sure when, the difficult days became fewer and farther between. Somewhere along the way, my adversity became part of me instead of controlling me.
So I need to do the work. In some ways, I see that this weight is part of that same work I began in '95. It's not the whole cloth, but there are many common threads.
May wasn't all about avoiding the work. About six weeks ago, I decided (again) I needed to start walking the dog. It was something I was dreading, probably simply because I didn't want to do it. I started small. I realized that I was (am) really out of shape. Add that to my propensity of giving something up if I take too big a bite and don't like it, it was necessary to do that.
I started with one lap around the block, about .3 miles. I would take the dog with me when I took the kids to school. When we got home, I'd take her out of the car and immediately go around the block. I knew if I walked into the house, I wouldn't take her back out. I'd find some reason not to.
We walked every day that week except one. My joints burned every time. With the blessings of ibuprofen and naps, I kept doing it.
The next week, I went around my block and then I did another lap around the next block. One day, I drove the laps to see how far I was going. They totaled .7 miles.
Two weeks later, I added a third lap around another block bringing my total to 1.2 miles. We did that once. The next day, I drove her over to a park along the bluffs. There's a really nice, paved walking path there. It's divided into three sections, each one divided by distance and marked.
We are now up to 1.8 miles five days a week, flirting with 2.4 (once this week).
Two weeks ago, when the pool temperature finally got to a good place, I started swimming. It's not Olympic swimming by any means, it's more just gently going back and forth. And it's not everyday, but it's activity.
 |
| Feb 14, 2015 309 lbs |
 |
| June 6, 2015 300 lbs |
 |
| Notice the dog patiently waiting for her leash.... |
I'll be checking back in tomorrow...if for anything to report my food....
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Update April 1, 2015
Hello all.
I haven't written in a couple days. Sorry about that. My mother-in-law and two nieces were here. We've been very busy.
Monday we finally signed the closing documents. In California, however, you don't get your keys right away. It can be up to 72 hours afterwards. In our case, we got our keys at 5:15 last night. We were working until midnight to get everything moved. Fortunately, lots of people from our church showed up to help us. If they hadn't, we would have been still moving today.
My mother-in-law, nieces and my granddaughter, Ryleigh, all climbed in the van and left for Salt Lake today. I'm not built for toddlers anymore. I've been exhausted having her around. However, I know I'll miss her. I was bawling today as she left. :'(
After they left, Stephi and I went over to the old house and started cleaning. My mother-in-law and a friend from church had already done a lot of the kitchen work. I am so thankful for their help. However, we focused on the carpeted areas of the house so the carpet cleaners could get their work done tomorrow. Tyson was in and out, taking a load over, running errands like going to the post office, etc. He finally joined us all the time about 4:30. We cleaned until 8:00. We met the goal of getting all the bedrooms, bathrooms, laundry room and hallway completed. We even did the windows. Ack.
That leaves the refrigerator, oven, counters, dishwasher, mantle and hearth, three more windows and waxing the kitchen, dining room and living room. I think we can get it done while the carpet cleaners are there.
Another NaNoWriMo started today. There's a competition on the internet. To join, you must be willing to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. The main one is in November. There are secondary ones in April and July. I enjoyed this last one in November so much, I wanted to do another one. These secondary ones allow you to set your own monthly word count. I stepped mine up to 60,000. I didn't get anything done today so I'm already behind!! Tomorrow doesn't look good either. I guess we'll see how the day shapes up. It's better to stay on top of it instead of falling behind.
Well, my diet has gone back to old habits. I've been drinking a lot of pop, eating more sugary things, and just eating more in general. Eating is how I handle stress. Now that the moving stress is almost over, perhaps I can get back on track.
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Same Bat time (maybe), same Bat channel.
I haven't written in a couple days. Sorry about that. My mother-in-law and two nieces were here. We've been very busy.
Monday we finally signed the closing documents. In California, however, you don't get your keys right away. It can be up to 72 hours afterwards. In our case, we got our keys at 5:15 last night. We were working until midnight to get everything moved. Fortunately, lots of people from our church showed up to help us. If they hadn't, we would have been still moving today.
My mother-in-law, nieces and my granddaughter, Ryleigh, all climbed in the van and left for Salt Lake today. I'm not built for toddlers anymore. I've been exhausted having her around. However, I know I'll miss her. I was bawling today as she left. :'(
After they left, Stephi and I went over to the old house and started cleaning. My mother-in-law and a friend from church had already done a lot of the kitchen work. I am so thankful for their help. However, we focused on the carpeted areas of the house so the carpet cleaners could get their work done tomorrow. Tyson was in and out, taking a load over, running errands like going to the post office, etc. He finally joined us all the time about 4:30. We cleaned until 8:00. We met the goal of getting all the bedrooms, bathrooms, laundry room and hallway completed. We even did the windows. Ack.
That leaves the refrigerator, oven, counters, dishwasher, mantle and hearth, three more windows and waxing the kitchen, dining room and living room. I think we can get it done while the carpet cleaners are there.
Another NaNoWriMo started today. There's a competition on the internet. To join, you must be willing to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. The main one is in November. There are secondary ones in April and July. I enjoyed this last one in November so much, I wanted to do another one. These secondary ones allow you to set your own monthly word count. I stepped mine up to 60,000. I didn't get anything done today so I'm already behind!! Tomorrow doesn't look good either. I guess we'll see how the day shapes up. It's better to stay on top of it instead of falling behind.
Well, my diet has gone back to old habits. I've been drinking a lot of pop, eating more sugary things, and just eating more in general. Eating is how I handle stress. Now that the moving stress is almost over, perhaps I can get back on track.
Let's see what tomorrow brings.
Same Bat time (maybe), same Bat channel.
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