Let's get the dirty business out of the way. I weighed 293 this morning. I'm neutral, no loss or gain. I'll take it. I walked the dog at least a mile the last three days. Put a point in the win column, please!
So, I want to look closely at this. I'm not losing weight, which was a goal last year, and rightfully so. Around the time I started focusing my extra energy to my book is when I started losing focus on the weigh management. This continued to the point of me completely stopping what I was doing with my weight.
Okay, I can find reasons for what I was doing, justify my actions all I want to, but it boils down to that fact: I changed my focus.
Since I've been laid off, I've been working on finding my focus again. I've been working on a lot of different foci: getting the house/kids/husband back under a working schedule, working on my book and 'working' on my weight loss.
That leads to an interesting question: Do we ever have a point in our lives where everything is in perfect focus?
I've found that the answer to that is no, at least, in my life.
We are always being shaped and molded by the experiences and people in our lives. Nothing is ever stable or constant. And when we might get one thing under 'control', something else flies out of whack.
So chaos is normal then? I'm beginning to think so.
Should I stop trying to manage things? Do I change my goals? Absolutely not! I should always be striving to improve and get the things that I need/want taken care of. On the rare days that I do get everything on my list accomplished, I think "Okay! Let's do that again tomorrow!" When in actuality, the stars were in the correct alignment, or I had walked through the correct threshold at the correct time, or I held my tongue in the correct position for the correct amount of time... or I just had a good day.
I'm doing too much?
What does that mean?
Seriously, what is that?
All joking to the side, there's always things that need to be done. Sometimes, things get pushed off to the next day/week/month/year... decade.
So, I need to not push this off until 2026. But I know myself, if I jump in too deep, I'll just get back out and not get back in.
Riiiiight.
Jumping in is was I do.
Just ask my husband.
Grr. I can feel it just underneath the surface. I don't want to.But I should.
So, I'll have to NOT do it like I normally do, I'll have to ease back into it. Just like increasing my blogging frequency, I'm going to add it to my list. I was looking back through my older posts and I came across this one: Wrestling the Beast. Now, this particular post is talking about depression. I haven't really had too many problems with that over the last year and I think it's because I'm writing almost every single day. What interested me about this was the list I made.
I love lists.
Lists make me happy. Checking things off the lists makes me happier. Completely checking off everything from my long list makes me the happiest (doesn't happen often).
With that in mind, last year I was weighing myself everyday. I know some people say not to do that but I learned so much about my body by doing it. I learned what MY normal fluctuation is over the course of a month so when I gain two or four pounds one week, I don't get all stressed out about it. I can also see where when I may loose five pounds, it's not necessarily something to have a party about because it probably will come back the next week. I have a whole year's worth of an Excel spreadsheet to document that.
I also know that if I do want to seriously lose more than that five pound fluctuation, I'm going to have to work harder. Ish. See? There it is again, I don't want to.
I'm going to add weighing myself everyday back to the list... soon. I'm going to start the spreadsheet again... soon-ish. Believe it or not, it allowed me to make it one of my foci! Once I do that, then I'll consider counting my calories or something like that. Maybe even increasing my walking pace (maybe).
Baby steps.
See you Wednesday.
If you like this blog, would you pretty please go check out my author's blog about my book? It's lonely over there.
If you like this blog, would you pretty please go check out my author's blog about my book? It's lonely over there.
No comments:
Post a Comment