Last night I scared myself

I knew I had been gaining weight.  My pants didn't fit well anymore.  There's this large mass under my beltline and sticks out with my profile.  My shirt sleeves were getting tight.  Don't ask what my arms look like when I hold them away from my body.  (When they're up close to my body, they melt into my frame. :/ )

Like I said, I knew I was gaining weight, or at least I had.  But, this is not a new circumstance.  I've been gaining weight ever since I left high school.  I stopped doing sports my senior year.  I put on some weight that year.  However, I was about thirty pounds UNDER weight at the beginning of my senior summer so the extra weight was actually getting up to "normal".

Of course, I gained weight when I went away to college.  I was about 155 to 160 pounds by then, which is within my range, 150 to 175, for my height, 5'-11".

Last night, the scale said 309.

I've been hovering just under 300 for about three years now.  It was never a boundary I wanted to cross.  Every time I got on the scale and it said 29something, I would say, "At least I'm not over 300."  I would tell myself, "Yeah, I need to loose some weight, but I'm not OBESE."

When I left Laramie, WY in July of 2014, I estimate I was about 275.  I had been working HOURS every day painting, installing flooring, painting, drywall work, painting, yard work and painting.  Oh, did I mention I was painting?  I did have TONS of help.  However, I was putting in twelve to fourteen hour days working on the house so we cold sell it.  It was stressful.

When I got to California, I collapsed.  I really haven't gotten up since.  I am definitely sedentary now.

Being over the 300 mark bothers me.  A LOT.

I have started this blog so I can monitor this change.  Hopefully, it's in the direction I want, which is down the scale.  I know it's going to be difficult.  In fact, I'm pretty sure it will be extremely difficult.  I'm not good at commitments and I'm not good at extremely difficult. 

But then again, that's what's gotten me to the point where I AM OBESE.